Well, sorry I haven't written anything on here for a while. To be honest there hasn't been that much to report. Moogle unfortunately took a backward step and started waking up 3-4 times during the night, as well as being a little madam in the daytime. I'm sure it's just a phase though and she'll be back to her good little self in the very near future (at least I hope it will)
Meanwhile I just try to make a joke out of the whole situation - after all, who would have thought a grown woman could be defeated by a 3-month old baby!
Thursday, 16 September 2010
Monday, 6 September 2010
Once more with feeling...
As anybody who knows me can tell you, I love anything to do with performing. Singing, acting, dancing - I'm your girl. What does this have to do with a baby you might ask? Simple. One Sunday afternoon, my best friend and I were messing around on the Wii game "Broadway Dance" and we noticed that Moogle may have got more than her eyes from Mummy's DNA. She was fascinated and watched us for about an hour! Over the last few weeks, I have discovered that she is really easy to keep happy, as long as you don't mind singing and dancing for her entertainment.
So if you happen to be sneaking a peek through my living room window (which would be odd, but this is a hypothetical situation), then you shouldn't be surprised to see me putting on a one-man musical with a very contented audience. She's even started thrashing her arms and legs around - I like to think she's trying to join in. I guess it's baby tap shoes for Christmas then!
Meanwhile, in other news, I think I'm really starting to get the hang of this motherhood lark. My hubby is back at work after the school holidays, so I am alone with Moogle for most of the day and so far (after 2 days) we're doing alright. She actually seems to be much happier now - I think we have a 50:50 ratio of smiles to tears! And she's sleeping quite well too. If I didn't like shopping so much, I might consider becoming a full time mum, but who knows, I might be ready for work by December. And maybe, a long time in the future, I might consider having another one!
Monday, 9 August 2010
49 days later...
Well, Freya turns 7 weeks tomorrow. And what a rollercoaster ride parenthood has been...
I spent 3 days in hospital after the birth. My iron levels were scarily low, so I had to be put on iron tablets and they did think I would have to have a blood transfusion for a while. Thank goodness I convinced them against it.
The last few weeks have been really hard. I know that isn't the fashionable thing to say, but I think all of the women who act as if motherhood is a walk in the park are either compulsive liars, or overdosing on Prozac! I have never been more tired, stressed and, yes, happy in my whole life. There are definate up days and down days.
Freya is now affectionately known as the Moogle (or the Poogle when she is in a mood!) We tried to breastfeed at first, but she just couldn't get the hang of it. She kept falling off the nipple or getting distracted, so we had to resort to expressing milk to feed her. For the first two weeks of her life I was practically attached to a breast pump! Finally, though, I was struggling to keep up so I had to fall back on the emergency formula carton. I have never felt more awful in my whole life. I felt like such a terrible mother. But, I figured, it was better that she was fed, and I was rested rather than continuing to struggle. I still expressed as much as possible for the next few weeks, but now she is pretty much a formula fed baby. (She even has Hungry baby now as she is always begging for food)
She's not exactly what I would call a happy baby. When she is asleep, she is beautiful. But 80% of the time she is awake she is screaming! It's actually quite scary as it sounds as if she is in terrible pain. I worry a lot, but I think mainly it is wind and tummy aches. But it can be very tiring. She demands constant attention, and although we have had a couple of fantastic nights where she slept really well, there are other nights when she hardly sleeps at all!
Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better when she is a bit older, but it is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Still, I try to keep upbeat about the whole situation, and as soon as she smiles at me, I forget all of the stress and fall head over heels all over again. I still sometimes can't believe I helped to create such a beautiful little person.
I spent 3 days in hospital after the birth. My iron levels were scarily low, so I had to be put on iron tablets and they did think I would have to have a blood transfusion for a while. Thank goodness I convinced them against it.
The last few weeks have been really hard. I know that isn't the fashionable thing to say, but I think all of the women who act as if motherhood is a walk in the park are either compulsive liars, or overdosing on Prozac! I have never been more tired, stressed and, yes, happy in my whole life. There are definate up days and down days.
Freya is now affectionately known as the Moogle (or the Poogle when she is in a mood!) We tried to breastfeed at first, but she just couldn't get the hang of it. She kept falling off the nipple or getting distracted, so we had to resort to expressing milk to feed her. For the first two weeks of her life I was practically attached to a breast pump! Finally, though, I was struggling to keep up so I had to fall back on the emergency formula carton. I have never felt more awful in my whole life. I felt like such a terrible mother. But, I figured, it was better that she was fed, and I was rested rather than continuing to struggle. I still expressed as much as possible for the next few weeks, but now she is pretty much a formula fed baby. (She even has Hungry baby now as she is always begging for food)
She's not exactly what I would call a happy baby. When she is asleep, she is beautiful. But 80% of the time she is awake she is screaming! It's actually quite scary as it sounds as if she is in terrible pain. I worry a lot, but I think mainly it is wind and tummy aches. But it can be very tiring. She demands constant attention, and although we have had a couple of fantastic nights where she slept really well, there are other nights when she hardly sleeps at all!
Everyone keeps telling me that it will get better when she is a bit older, but it is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Still, I try to keep upbeat about the whole situation, and as soon as she smiles at me, I forget all of the stress and fall head over heels all over again. I still sometimes can't believe I helped to create such a beautiful little person.
Sunday, 18 July 2010
A child is born.
Well, I would apologise for not posting for so long, but in my defence I have been a little busy!! Before I start bombarding you with stories of my experience of motherhood, I thought I should probably tell you a bit about the birth. WARNING: for people who are a little squeamish, there may be some parts of this that contain too much information. You have been warned, if you won't like it - stop reading!! This is also an incredibly long post, but I want to include everything I can remember.
Let me take you back to 6.30am on Monday 21st June. I had 2 tiny pains (barely noticeable) about 20 mins apart. This was about the closest thing I had had to a contraction, so I got very excited. I also had a tiny spot of blood when I went to the toilet, so I was really hoping that this was a "show" and that things were moving at last! I didn't know what to tell Chris, in case it was all a false alarm, so I decided to have a bath to see if that made any difference. I waited 20 mins for the next pain and nothing happened but I decided to warn Chris, just in case I had to call him home from work early. He decided he would rather not go in, so he called work.
During the morning the pains started again, every 20 minutes, just like a mild period pain. I was supposed to be having a midwife appointment to see if I was any further dilated, but she said it sounded like I was in labour, so she wouldn't bother coming. She instructed me to call the labour suite when I was having one contraction every 5 minutes and wished me luck. By lunchtime the contractions were one every 10 mins, and although I would describe them as uncomfortable, they weren't particuarly painful.
At about 5pm, they stopped. I was gutted. Had this really all just been a practice run?? But then they were there again, about 5 mins apart and were quite a bit more painful. I called the labour suite, but the lady on the phone asked me to stay at home and have a paracetamol as " I sounded like I was coping quite well" Trust me to be too calm. I'll know to fake tears next time.
So I waited a little longer. By 8pm, I think it's safe to say I wasn't coping well any more! The pain was intense. I had to hold onto something during every contraction and kept feeling like a desperately needed to go to the toilet for a poo! (More on that lovely topic later!) I called the labour suite again, and they said I could go in if I wanted and they would assess me. We called the parents to warn them what was happening, and then -woosh! Just when I was on the phone to my dad, my waters broke!! Now that is a weird feeling! It was like I kept wetting myself over and over again! So then we had the fun task of trying to get me changed in between my contractions, before rushing to the hospital as quickly as we could.
At the hospital, the midwives didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation. I was trying to explain that I had been 3-4cm dilated already, before contracting, but they didn't seem too worried. I was told to imagine I was floating on fluffy clouds during each contraction, and then they offered me codine and a warm bath! Not exactly helping when during each contraction I was keeled over on, feeling like I was going to throw up, go to the toilet and die at the same time. They said I couldn't have gas and air until I was 5cm but I was seriously hoping I was past that point as I couldn't have handled any more pain. When we insisted they examine me, I was (surprise, surprise!) 8cm dilated!
Suddenly everything started to happen. I was taken down to the delivery room and given gas and air - hoorah! I'm not entirely sure it worked as a pain killer, but the breathing did help distract me from the contractions. I realised at this point, that the urge to poo, was actually an urge to push! Before the birth, I'd been really worried about this stage - everything I had heard implied that this would be the most painful part. Burning, tearing etc. But, bizarrely, it wasn't that bad. I'm not suggesting it didn't hurt, but it was a productive pain. I had a job to do, so I just focussed on that. And suddenly, there was a baby on my chest. A little (very fragile) squiggly creature was placed on my chest and I couldn't quite believe I was finished. Chris came over to give us a cuddle. It was really surreal.
I won't bore you with too many details about the rest of the labour. Placenta, blah blah blah. Everything happened pretty much as planned. There was a little more excitement than expected when I almost fainted after the birth. It turned out the I had lost a lot more blood than anyone had realised and before I knew what was happening I was surrounded by medical staff and hooked up to two drips and heaven knows what else. By the time my parents and sisters arrived to see the baby, I was flat on my back, looking like a zombie. I must have been quite a fright!
Because I had to stay in the delivery suite for monitoring, Chris was able to stay with us all night, which was lovely. And that was my birth story. Nobody really believes me, but I really didn't mind it and would recommend a natural birth to anyone. I had planned to have every form of pain relief known to man, but there wasn't time and it was perfectly manageable. I thought I had got off easy - little did I know, things would only get harder...
Let me take you back to 6.30am on Monday 21st June. I had 2 tiny pains (barely noticeable) about 20 mins apart. This was about the closest thing I had had to a contraction, so I got very excited. I also had a tiny spot of blood when I went to the toilet, so I was really hoping that this was a "show" and that things were moving at last! I didn't know what to tell Chris, in case it was all a false alarm, so I decided to have a bath to see if that made any difference. I waited 20 mins for the next pain and nothing happened but I decided to warn Chris, just in case I had to call him home from work early. He decided he would rather not go in, so he called work.
During the morning the pains started again, every 20 minutes, just like a mild period pain. I was supposed to be having a midwife appointment to see if I was any further dilated, but she said it sounded like I was in labour, so she wouldn't bother coming. She instructed me to call the labour suite when I was having one contraction every 5 minutes and wished me luck. By lunchtime the contractions were one every 10 mins, and although I would describe them as uncomfortable, they weren't particuarly painful.
At about 5pm, they stopped. I was gutted. Had this really all just been a practice run?? But then they were there again, about 5 mins apart and were quite a bit more painful. I called the labour suite, but the lady on the phone asked me to stay at home and have a paracetamol as " I sounded like I was coping quite well" Trust me to be too calm. I'll know to fake tears next time.
So I waited a little longer. By 8pm, I think it's safe to say I wasn't coping well any more! The pain was intense. I had to hold onto something during every contraction and kept feeling like a desperately needed to go to the toilet for a poo! (More on that lovely topic later!) I called the labour suite again, and they said I could go in if I wanted and they would assess me. We called the parents to warn them what was happening, and then -woosh! Just when I was on the phone to my dad, my waters broke!! Now that is a weird feeling! It was like I kept wetting myself over and over again! So then we had the fun task of trying to get me changed in between my contractions, before rushing to the hospital as quickly as we could.
At the hospital, the midwives didn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation. I was trying to explain that I had been 3-4cm dilated already, before contracting, but they didn't seem too worried. I was told to imagine I was floating on fluffy clouds during each contraction, and then they offered me codine and a warm bath! Not exactly helping when during each contraction I was keeled over on, feeling like I was going to throw up, go to the toilet and die at the same time. They said I couldn't have gas and air until I was 5cm but I was seriously hoping I was past that point as I couldn't have handled any more pain. When we insisted they examine me, I was (surprise, surprise!) 8cm dilated!
Suddenly everything started to happen. I was taken down to the delivery room and given gas and air - hoorah! I'm not entirely sure it worked as a pain killer, but the breathing did help distract me from the contractions. I realised at this point, that the urge to poo, was actually an urge to push! Before the birth, I'd been really worried about this stage - everything I had heard implied that this would be the most painful part. Burning, tearing etc. But, bizarrely, it wasn't that bad. I'm not suggesting it didn't hurt, but it was a productive pain. I had a job to do, so I just focussed on that. And suddenly, there was a baby on my chest. A little (very fragile) squiggly creature was placed on my chest and I couldn't quite believe I was finished. Chris came over to give us a cuddle. It was really surreal.
I won't bore you with too many details about the rest of the labour. Placenta, blah blah blah. Everything happened pretty much as planned. There was a little more excitement than expected when I almost fainted after the birth. It turned out the I had lost a lot more blood than anyone had realised and before I knew what was happening I was surrounded by medical staff and hooked up to two drips and heaven knows what else. By the time my parents and sisters arrived to see the baby, I was flat on my back, looking like a zombie. I must have been quite a fright!
Because I had to stay in the delivery suite for monitoring, Chris was able to stay with us all night, which was lovely. And that was my birth story. Nobody really believes me, but I really didn't mind it and would recommend a natural birth to anyone. I had planned to have every form of pain relief known to man, but there wasn't time and it was perfectly manageable. I thought I had got off easy - little did I know, things would only get harder...
Saturday, 5 June 2010
One week until DDay
Well, here we are. 38 weeks plus 6 days. One week tomorrow, I should be having a baby. If I have my way, she'll already be here, but this is me we're talking about, so I'm not holding my breath.
Went for another appointment with the midwife on Thursday. My blood pressure was fine, but there was protein in my urine again so she sent that off for testing. It's possible that I have an infection, but it's best to get it all checked out. She's coming to see me again on Monday just to keep an eye on me. Hopefully I won't see her that many more times before I have a little human to show her.
Chris managed to fit the carseat yesterday so we will be able to bring baby home whenever she decides to make an appearance. And I've caught a cold, which has really cheered me up in the most uncomfortable week of the pregnancy. At least I'm adapting to life with no sleep!
I've got my fingers crossed that the next time I write I'll have something to show for the last 9 months.
Went for another appointment with the midwife on Thursday. My blood pressure was fine, but there was protein in my urine again so she sent that off for testing. It's possible that I have an infection, but it's best to get it all checked out. She's coming to see me again on Monday just to keep an eye on me. Hopefully I won't see her that many more times before I have a little human to show her.
Chris managed to fit the carseat yesterday so we will be able to bring baby home whenever she decides to make an appearance. And I've caught a cold, which has really cheered me up in the most uncomfortable week of the pregnancy. At least I'm adapting to life with no sleep!
I've got my fingers crossed that the next time I write I'll have something to show for the last 9 months.
Saturday, 29 May 2010
Bored now!
Well, we've finally reached 38 weeks and I'm writing this blog entry at 5.30am as I'm wide awake and so bored. I'm lucky to sleep for more than a few hours at a time now, mainly due to heartburn, achy bump and back and a small human headbutting my bladder constantly! I've taken to spending a few nights on the sofa, as it gives me a lot of added support (and I don't have to feel so guilty about keeping my poor hubby awake from my endless fidgeting and snoring!)
We had a little bit of drama last week. Our midwife came to visit to discuss homebirth, only to find me with incredibly swollen feet, protein in my urine and high-blood pressure (stupidly high, for me anyway). It was three strikes, you're out and off we headed for our first proper visit to the Dukeries Maternity Unit for Pre-Eclampsia testing. After 3-4 hours of sitting in a very hot room, and blood tests, urine tests, baby monitoring and blood pressure tests, the doctors informed me that I didn't have pre-eclampsia but they still wanted to keep me in over night.
I was taken up to the ward at 11pm and didn't see anybody again until 8am the next morning. I thought they might have forgotten I was there for a little while. After breakfast (which I was ordered to have by a drill-sergeant who didn't seem to understand that I might not know where I was going) there was more testing of blood pressure etc to see if everything had settled down. Thankfully it had, which meant I was given the all-clear to go home in the afternoon, although I was instructed to start my maternity leave a week early as I wasn't able to work in "my condition".
The only high point of the day was my extra ultrasound scan, to check baby growth. She was perfect (they double-checked and we are still sure baby is a she!) and growth doesn't seem to be an issue. With four weeks to go, she was weighing in at an estimated 7 and a half pounds! Although my midwife assures me that they do sometimes get the weight wrong (I think she's just trying to be nice!)
So, I've spent the last week not overdoing it, with my feet up as much as possible. Chris took me to a hotel for the night last weekend which was bliss. We got to use the pool and leisure facilities which was so nice in the hot weather, and had a gorgeous meal at a gastro-pub in Beeston.
Other than that, I'm just waiting now. And waiting. Still waiting... Can't believe I could have 2-3 weeks more yet.
P.S Congratulations to my work friend Katie, who has just had a lovely little girl. Also called Freya. Think there might be a bit of that going around at the moment. I'd like to take this opportunity to say - I thought of the name first!!
Monday, 10 May 2010
Should I stay or should I go?
As anybody who knows me will know, my original birth plan was in a hospital suite, surrounded by medical professionals being regularly pumped full of drugs until I couldn't feel my feet, let alone anything further north! So you may be surprised to hear that we are now in discussion with the midwife to have a home birth.
It all started during my antenatal classes (8 hours plus a hospital tour - I'm a dedicated parent-to-be) One Wednesday night we went to an Active Birth session, led by a crazy, but fabulous lady called Sue ( I wish I could preorder her at my birth - she had me in fits of giggles and would be sure to lighten the atmosphere a bit) Anyways, she got talking about the ideal atmosphere to have a baby in. Apparently you should be relaxed and happy, in a similar set-up to when you are about to make love! Dimmed lights, soothing music, maybe some aromatherapy...you get the idea. Naturally, at this point Chris turned to me and said what we were both thinking - "Do you think they let you bring cats to the labour suite?!"
It may sound daft to you, but I am most happy in my living room, with easy access to my computer and at least 3 cats pestering me for attention. So, we decided to take what she said to the natural conclusion and look into having the baby at home. Obviously there will be some preparation involved, but I've been speaking to people who have done it in the past and they have been very positive about the experience, even if they ended up going to hospital.
Here are the main points that swayed us to decide on this "shocking" course of action: (Not that I'm explaining myself, mind you, but it's good to show I've not completely lost my marbles)
1. Chris gets to stay with me all night. No matter what time she arrives, we get to cuddle up with Daddy and I don't have to be on my own in a scary hospital with a new baby. (that bit comes later, when we go for our checks, but at least we get a special first night together)
2. I'm guaranteed the full-time attention of at least one midwife, if not two! In hospital, I'll probably see a different midwife every few hours, and then I'll have to share her with potentially 3 other mummies! And I don't like sharing my spotlight!
3. If the midwife is unhappy about anything during the birth, no matter how small, weve been assured we'll be in hospital before we can blink. And if I've had a normal pregnancy (it's been a breeze really!) then there is no reason why the birth shouldn't be the same.
4. And finally (although I could go on all night) if I chicken out, change my mind and beg for an epidural, I can go to hospital anyway.
So I'm no more worried about the birth than I was before, but actually looking forward to the experience and feeling rather zen about it all. After all, it's a thoroughly natural process that my body is programmed to do and thousands of women have done it before me.
Although obviously I have a woman's perogative to change my mind and deny this entire post in the future. My brain may not be functioning properly - I am pregnant, you know!
It all started during my antenatal classes (8 hours plus a hospital tour - I'm a dedicated parent-to-be) One Wednesday night we went to an Active Birth session, led by a crazy, but fabulous lady called Sue ( I wish I could preorder her at my birth - she had me in fits of giggles and would be sure to lighten the atmosphere a bit) Anyways, she got talking about the ideal atmosphere to have a baby in. Apparently you should be relaxed and happy, in a similar set-up to when you are about to make love! Dimmed lights, soothing music, maybe some aromatherapy...you get the idea. Naturally, at this point Chris turned to me and said what we were both thinking - "Do you think they let you bring cats to the labour suite?!"
It may sound daft to you, but I am most happy in my living room, with easy access to my computer and at least 3 cats pestering me for attention. So, we decided to take what she said to the natural conclusion and look into having the baby at home. Obviously there will be some preparation involved, but I've been speaking to people who have done it in the past and they have been very positive about the experience, even if they ended up going to hospital.
Here are the main points that swayed us to decide on this "shocking" course of action: (Not that I'm explaining myself, mind you, but it's good to show I've not completely lost my marbles)
1. Chris gets to stay with me all night. No matter what time she arrives, we get to cuddle up with Daddy and I don't have to be on my own in a scary hospital with a new baby. (that bit comes later, when we go for our checks, but at least we get a special first night together)
2. I'm guaranteed the full-time attention of at least one midwife, if not two! In hospital, I'll probably see a different midwife every few hours, and then I'll have to share her with potentially 3 other mummies! And I don't like sharing my spotlight!
3. If the midwife is unhappy about anything during the birth, no matter how small, weve been assured we'll be in hospital before we can blink. And if I've had a normal pregnancy (it's been a breeze really!) then there is no reason why the birth shouldn't be the same.
4. And finally (although I could go on all night) if I chicken out, change my mind and beg for an epidural, I can go to hospital anyway.
So I'm no more worried about the birth than I was before, but actually looking forward to the experience and feeling rather zen about it all. After all, it's a thoroughly natural process that my body is programmed to do and thousands of women have done it before me.
Although obviously I have a woman's perogative to change my mind and deny this entire post in the future. My brain may not be functioning properly - I am pregnant, you know!
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